Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing, after all.

As a sort of an update on the job front, I have managed to secure myself one more teaching gig for the fall, which I'm a little nervous about but ultimately should be lots of fun and hopefully lead to a great deal more opportunities. So that's good.

On a what-makes-me-a-truly-happy-person front" I've just finished up a week of rehearsal and performance of a first reading of my company's adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. And here's the kicker...I'm so friggin in love with Elizabeth Bennet. I mean truly who doesn't enjoy this story and look on Elizabeth as the heroin of all heroins...but I had no idea what reading those words would do to me. As I've officially stated to severally people, there is no way I am giving up this part and I have every intention of holding firm to it through it's full staging...and perhaps beyond...because I am entraced with it all. Lizzy (in our two night P&P by Mr. Donald Hardy) runs the gammet, she is snarky, witty, determined, happy, infuriated, mortified, and best of all, falls slowly and beautifully in love beyond her own control. I'm sorry but who wouldn't die to play this part? Who wouldn't die to do this show?

Well ok that's not such a hard one to answer. It is very simple and clear that the men who are most passionate and intrigued about this show are the gay ones. I'm not even making generalizations. It's the women and the gay men and the straight ones....well...it has its moments they say ....but overall I noticed a complete sense of "why do we care who Mr. Darcy marries?" which sort of makes my mind explode...how can you NOT care who Mr. Darcy marries? From my first hand expereience with my boyfriend for example I was holding out great hope. I mean I was mortified when I realized he had never read or even seen a film adaptation, but not surprised. (Same deal with Anne of Green Gables...what's up with that?) I had high hopes that he would be intrigued by the story, it's a comedy of manners and he loves Earnest...not the case...report in: romantic comedy, not compelling story, not enough conflict...etc. etc. I find this totally incomprehensible...but not inconsistent with other straight men's take on the classic work.

I can't help but thinking there has to be some sort of reason, what is it about Austen that atomatically turns off men of the hetro persuasion? It's not as if a good deal of the population doesn't find it enthralling, romantic sure but also witty and comparitivly well structured as these stories go. So I ask you, gentle reader, what is it about P&P that turns off men? It must be culturally manufactured because most gender constructs are but truely I find it baffling. How is it that something that women find so appealing is so utterly uninteresting to men? My righteous feminie side argues that the female author aspect has at least something to do with it...and once I follow that route I am forced to be furious by the shear neccisity that male authors, stories with male heros, are somehow more universal than anything written by a woman. A story with a female protagonist written by a woman is automatically too feminie for men to appreciate? understand? relate too? Of course these are questions that have bothered me for quite some time but having them so appear in my everday life is always maddening.

I understand that Elizabeth is the protagonist in P&P and that therefore it may be easier for females (and at least a certain percentage of gay men) to relate to. Most of the male characters have their share of faults but what is so wholly wrong with men aspiring to be like Bingley? Or even as manly and ultimatley modest and hero like as Darcy? Don't they get if there were more like that we would like them more?

I digress a little perhaps but I just felt that there must be other people who have noticed this particular phenomenum (I hope there is already some thesis written about this very subject) but I thought I would just get it out of my system, as I am sure to be obssessed with it for at least the next 6 months.

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Putting it Together

So I've just finished Summer Camp. 18 campers aged 7-11 performing Once Upon a Mattress (the gtk version....R&H's jr version short for Getting to Know you....that cracks me up). Anyway, it was a great group of kids and the show was very cute...had I had more than 4 weeks 4 days a week it could have been great and cute...but it was really cute none the less.

So that leaves me back at my search for work and meaning in life and theatre...this week I'm trying to take it easy...mostly because I'm exhausted but good things are coming my way anyway.

Tonight begins rehearsals for our one week speed workshop reading of my companies adaptation of Pride and Prejudice (by the phenominal Don Hardy). For one precious week I read Elizabeth Bennett...it's like the cherry on top of the rest of this year...Thomasina, Ophelia and Lizzy...it just doesn't get much better than that!

I also have a meeting tomorrow with some folks from OSA (Oakland School for the Arts) who are looking for a master class kinda teacher to do one day a week starting in the fall...I don't think I'm exactly what they want but they want to meet me so that's a good sign right? Pieceing things together...putting it together?

Anyway I suppose I should start my conserted search for a full time job again starting next week sometime...along we going back to my fabulous pre-schoolers who are probably taller and talk more now and I'll freak out...a month for little kids is an amazing amount of time.

And through all this and figuring things out...I've had this nagging thing in the back of my mind. I really had fun with Summer Camp this year...and working with kids who had never been onstage before and had little to no experience with theatre made me feel important. Like I was actually teaching them something that would help them...I mean obviously that's the point but on that point is something really really important. I feel I'm tetering on the edge of figuring out what make change. I sometimes feel guilty because I feel like what I'm doing doesn't make change, but the more I do this the more it feels like it matters and so this might not read like it makes sense...but I'm seeing things start to make a little more sense in the bigger picture I guess is what I mean.

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